Life Always Goes On.

A wise person once said "A person dies, we all say, 'It wasn't their time to die.' But who are we to say when it's the time to die? We live as long as God intends us to live." How true that is, I think that the hardest part of death is accepting it. I know my share of death when I was 6 my Grandpa died, when I was 7 my Uncle Bill Died, when I was 8 my Great Grandpa Setter died, and when I was 9 and 363 days old my sister's friend/ex-boyfriend died.

Through all of them I always said "It wasn't their time." and "Why did they have to go?" Which I think is normal to wonder and think. People always say "There's a plan for you, and it involved those deaths." or "God loves you, God loves everyone, He has a special place for them with Him." And until the death of my sister's friend I accepted that.

But on March 5th 2005 I decided to have nothing to do with God. I blamed him for my sister's friends death, I said "God, you could have stopped this from happening. So why didn't you? What did I do? What did HE do? He was only 16 God! Why him?! God I'm turning 10 in 2 days...are you punishing me? Then why not take me? You really don't love anyone." And I walked away, and it was that simple for me, that one death pushed me to where I thought I would never be...Pushing God away.

I stayed that way until January of 2009, almost 4 years later. I was at my friend's Grandpa's funeral (my LEAST favorite place), I left the room I walked to a room where I could be alone and I cried, I cried out to my Grandpa I asked him for a sign, I needed something to hold on to, something to let me know I'm safe, I wasn't sure what it was I needed but I needed it.

Later that month I got my sign in a form of a wake-up call. I was sitting alone in my room, and I just started crying, I didn't know why, but I just could now stop. I remember saying to God "Ok, I'm tired of running, here I am." And then I learned how to move on, all the deaths had an impact, one sent me running, but one pulled me back in. People always say "life goes on." And that's true.

But What I say is "Life will never be perfect, You're life will will go against what you want 50% of the time, You will yell at the ones you love, Hate the ones who love you, and feel like EVERYONE is against you. But no matter what God will ALWAYS show you just HOW to let life go on. It's never a matter of when, but how."

So will you let life go on?